Four New Mugs!!!!

This week’s firing has a quartet of cups for your perusal.  First up is a brand new take on a tried and true theme in my life and work: sleep deprivation.  “The benefits of insomnia” boils it all down to three positive outcomes to a lack of Zs and a deficit of R.E.M.s.  Will people buy a caffeine delivery device with jokes on it about the joys of being exhausted?  Get on over to my online store and answer this question with your credit card.  Please!

As this lovely mug attests, the ohata kaki red glaze surfaces in our latest firing turned out practically perfect.   This 10 ounce cup is the new Kona mug shape and we’ve got over a dozen of them right now just waiting to be shipped.  You should get a whole set of them!  Follow this direct link to purchase this item.

Here’s a redux of a classic Wally design from the 1980s.  I used to make the awards for a track meet that had a logo with a nose, bushy eyebrows and glasses.  The inspiration for this joke came from the extra mugs I had sitting around after the order got sent off to the track meet promoters.  This Wally adventure does have excellent potential for sequels: “Wally has a beer with the 3-D nose from Dimension X”, “Wally catches a cold from the 3-D nose from Dimension X”, etc.

And in an oddly similar vein, “Wally encounters a black hole” is a variation on what happens when Wally’s two dimensional world is rattled by a powerful force from the laws of physics and/or a powerful plot device from a sci-fi movie.  Yes, that’s an indentation on the mug surface itself.  I suppose the next logical step in this creative design process is to have the 3-D nose from Dimension X and the black hole to meet and get married, or something.  Stay tuned!

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Where did Mitt make you ride, Seamus? “Roof! Roof!”

You heard it here first: Mitt Romney just put Wally in the V.P. spot on his campaign ticket! April Fools!  Yes, this joke riffs on the now infamous Romney family summer vacation story.   In case you haven’t heard it, Mitt put his Irish setter Seamus in a cage on top of his station wagon and drove for twelve hours during which the poor dog got sick and made a mess all over the back window of the car.  The Republican presidential candidate has told this story with much glee in the past, but times have changed and now he is getting dogged (I couldn’t resist) by animal rights activists.  I’m not dishing dog dirt here, just celebrating a weird little piece of Americana and hoping to sell a few pots.  This timely design is available in mugs, plates and bowls in my online store.

And now, from the back end of the dog to the front end.  Ouch!  So here we have a shameless remake of the “Feed the !#!@*!! cat, already!!” bowl.  I’ve been getting orders for this variation of the classic bowl design from galleries over the years and now it’s available to my customers in my online store for $30.00.  It’s bigger than the cat bowl, measures seven inches in diameter and holds a little over two cups of food.  Bone appetite!

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Inspired by Rush, trash and the Dalai Lama.

It’s always a thrill to see your heroes in person, and last weekend I was able to see one of mine: filmmaker/author/actor John Waters. He gave an inspiring talk about his life and career at The Rocky Mountain College of Art and Design in Lakewood, CO.  I went with my daughter, Robin and we sat with a group of her journalist/musician friends.  As the evening progressed, we managed to snag some passes from other journalists for the meet and greet party after the lecture, where I was able to tag along and take the above picture! What stuck with me most from the evening is how gracious and appreciative John Waters is of his success as the so-called “Pope of Trash.”  I took this thought back to the studio on Monday morning where hundreds of pots were waiting for me to decorate them, and I realized that I’m pretty darn lucky to be doing what I do for a living, too.  So last week I came up with six new designs!  They are, of course, for sale in my online store.  Here are the stories behind the pots:

Thank you Rush Limbaugh, for going totally crazy on the subject of birth control a few weeks ago and giving those of us in the humor business some great new material to work with.  This cartoon came together really quickly as I thought about how creepy and weird the GOP is becoming with regards to women’s issues.  I think this one is going to be a real hit this year!

OK.  So if you don’t know the story behind Schrodinger’s cat experiment, just move on to the next design because I’m not going to explain it here.  But I will say that this cartoon came to life when I read “Physical Reality and Common Sense” by Walter G. Edwards (my dad!).  As I poured over his descriptions of special relativity theory and quantum mechanics, the thought experiment about the cat who was both dead and alive at the same time stuck in my mind and I realized that this is the kind of thing PETA would have a hissy fit over.

Politics isn’t the only thing that’s dividing our country these days.  Close behind is food, with gluten being the number one issue in this gastronomic civil war.  I’m taking a stand here with people who like to eat wheat, so if you are gluten intolerant, this bowl isn’t for you.  Bon Appetit!

I’ve come to realize that my best selling bowls all specifically state the food item to be consumed in them: guacamole, ice cream, cat food, cocktail nuts, etc.  So here’s another cool joke about one of my all-time favorite foods: onion dip!  Pass the breath mints, please.

Here’s a pair of mugs that are shamelessly aimed at specific gift markets.  I’m not quite sure why the king is lazing around all day while the queen is working like mad, but they do make a nice pair, don’t they?

And last but not least, I have another great story about meeting an inspiring person.  My daughter, Monica, is on a nine month trip in Asia with a group of twenty-five other college students from the University of Puget Sound.  They have been taking classes in Mongolia, China, Malaysia, Viet Nam, Cambodia and India.  The day after Robin and I saw John Waters, I received an amazing email from her describing their meeting with the Dalai Lama in Dharamsala, India on March 10, Tibetan National Uprising Day.  Her words were so touching and she was so moved by the event.  I’m still marveling at the fact that my two daughters were halfway around the world from each other on the same calendar day having oddly similar moving experiences.  For those of you who have never seen Monica, she is just to the left of the Dalai Lama, holding his hand.

I’m decorating another kiln load next week, so look for more new stuff here in the beginning of April!

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Clearance Sale! Mugs, plates and bowls for $10.00!

While I love doing topical humor on pottery, it does have its downside: it gets dated.  And sometimes topical humor gets dated really really fast.  But it’s wonderful to own an old design and wait a long time because after a while that old joke can have a certain quaint charm.  Take a look in the wallyware collectables section of this website and you’ll see some great little artifacts of pop culture (e.g. “Wally makes the mistake of using George W. Bush for his lifeline on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”).  Last month I pulled a number of designs off the shelves in the stock room and put them at a ridiculously low sale price: just ten dollars.  The response from my fans was good, so I just pulled some more old items and slow sellers out of my local galleries and we’re having round two of the big ten dollar clearance sale.  There’s a $10.00 section in Wally’s Bargain Basement in my online store to make it easy for customers to see all of these sale items in the same place.  If you are shopping there, be sure and order only the amount of items we have in stock as I don’t have inventory control on my retail website.  I have to take the items off the site after the sale is made.

Here’s a rundown of some of my favorite items that are available as of the date of this posting (03/17/12):

“Cats and dogs and pigs and bears are cute but if you make a composite animal of all of them it’s kind of creepy”

“Tell me about your drugs”

“Wally learns that Tiger Woods holds the world record for the youngest person to sell his soul to the devil” – available in mugs, plates and bowls.

“Wally learns that on Etsy, “hand-drawn on ironic tableware” means a sharpie drawing on an old paper plate – available in mugs and a plate.

“I WAS GOING TO BUY A GUN AND KILL YOU ALL BUT I COULDN’T AFFORD ONE SO I BOUGHT THIS MUG INSTEAD”

“I’M ON A DRUG. IT’S CALLED CHARLIE DONALD TRUMP SHEEN.”

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The Song Dynasty Climbing Dragon Kiln

Over the holidays, I had a five week break from making pottery because our family took an amazing trip to Asia.  Monica is spending her junior year in college in the PacRim program at the University of Puget Sound. She and twenty-four other students are taking classes in Mongolia, Malaysia, China, Vietnam, Cambodia and India.  I highly recommend taking a look at her blog to learn more about all the things she’s been doing on the other side of the world.  I’m so impressed with that kid, to say the least!  So her adventure led to our adventure coming to visit her for Christmas in Hong Kong. Lori and I spent eight days touring China the week before Christmas, and while we were in Hangzhou, a capital city in the Yangtze River Delta we read about a “Song Dynasty Kiln Museum” in our tourist guide book.  It turned out to be a real find as it’s a major archeological site for Chinese porcelain.  During the Song Dynasty (960-1279), the hills in this region were filled with climbing dragon kilns.  These wood-fired kilns get their name from the flames that leap out of their mouths and sides when they are fired.

These kilns were huge! The one at the site pictured above is 44 yards long and could hold thousands of pots. Besides the pottery studio and kiln excavations, there were numerous displays of Song Dynasty pots as well as an impressive collection of contemporary porcelain pieces.  When I started making pots in the 1970s, it was the Chinese celadons and copper reds that inspired me the most.  It was such a treat to wander through this museum and think about the long history of my profession.

We had so many great experiences on this trip and some of them involved finding food.  After the kiln museum, we had a meal in a true “hole in the wall” restaurant. It was delicious, cheap and a bit chilly due to the holes in the walls!

And last but not least, check out the rare Ming Dynasty traffic cone that I discovered!!!

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Awesome Ohata Kaki Red Gifts!

We shipped out a lot of pots last week, and it’s been really rewarding to see that my ohata kaki red pots have a solid fan base.  I really like these pots and highly recommend them as gifts.  A handmade mug or bowl with a rich glaze is a great item to give or receive as a holiday present.  The eight inch diameter salad bowl (above) is a one of a kind and sells for $55.00 in my online store.  Here are some more iron red glazed gift ideas:

Here are three great mug shapes that we have in stock right now.  The “fancy foot mug” ($22.00), “morning mug” ($25.00) and “paddled square mug” ($25.00) may be purchased in sets, but be sure and email me first to see how many we have available.  I’m drinking out of a morning mug this morning…. really!

These 5″ diameter red altered bowls sell for $20.00 each and are perfect for cereal, ice cream, or serving bowls at parties.  The big red loop mug holds at least 14 ounces of liquid and sells for $28.00.  This is a great gift for a guy!

The “red handle jar” ($40.00) started out as a holiday gift idea my wife came up with.  She wanted me to make something to hold homemade fudge so I made a series of them for our friends.  This is the item that launched the entire ohata kaki line!  And I still have two of the “8 inch diameter serving bowls with handles” ($45.00) left.  These would make fantastic gifts.  We do “no frills” gift wrapping for just seventy-five cents!

And here’s a great combo for the “substance enthusiast” on your gift list: the ashtray ($18.00), beer stein ($28.00) and shot glass ($10.00) combo. Be sure and have a designated driver.  Cheers!

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Yes, as a matter of fact, we can ship it ASAP!

Oh man, it’s the crazy season!  I still have a lot of great pots available in my online store, but the stock on hand is limited.  I’m almost out of some of our classic top-selling items such as the “Jesus is Coming” bowl and “Holy Shit! That’s good coffee!”, so if you have a specific gift item in mind, you might want to take a look to see if it is still available.  This year I took on a lot of new consignment accounts and we shipped some big orders to them this week.  Take a look at the “Find a Gallery” section of this site to see if there is a fine craft gallery near you that carries my work.  Here are some of the items we still have in stock here at the Wallyware headquarters.  All orders placed online will get a confirming email with the date the item is to be shipped.  We also offer “super-cheap holiday gift wrapping” for just $0.75!  It’s a great way to send out a unique gift with your holiday message taped on the wrapping paper.

Here are some of the items we have in stock and ready to ship:

The 10″ diameter red floppy bowl (above) is a one of a kind and sells for $55.00.  You can find it in the “Ohata Kaki Red” section of my online store.

The “Holy Guacamole!” bowl sells for $36.00 and was designed as the companion piece to the ever-popular “Jesus is coming and he’s bringing the bean dip” bowl.

Here’s the best seller from last year’s “deluxe funny mug” series! When I made the “When I was your age we had to make our own coffee and it tasted like crap” mug, I didn’t realize its excellent birthday gift potential.

We’ve got dozens of Wally mugs in stock, and here are three that are still on the shelves as of Thursday morning (12/08/11): “Wally goes to a party and realizes that he is the only one who is not on anti-depressants and it makes him sad”, “Wally joins the Tea Party because the brain-eating space monsters prefer the taste of smart people” and “Wally wanders into Jackson Pollock’s studio”.

Within the last couple of years, I’ve collaborated with alternative comics writers Noah Van Sciver and John Porcellino.  These guys are famous in the world of wacky drawing.  Noah was nominated for an ignatz award (the comix equivalent to an academy award!) and John P. has a huge following to his work, which he has been publishing for over twenty-five years now.  There is a section of my online store that carries a couple dozen one of a kind items by these guys.  It’s REAL ART! Check it out!

And I’m totally out of this new Tim Tebow design, but as of this morning, The Evergreen Gallery in Evergreen, Co has a couple of mugs and a couple of plates.  I should have made more!

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This year’s best selling items

I’m unloading the last firing of the year tomorrow, and it’s always fun to be shipping out lots of holiday orders to my wholesale accounts and my retail customers.  If you are still in the shopping mode (as most of us are!), here’s some suggestions based on what has been selling well this year.  The ohata kaki nesting bowls (above) are one of my favorite items in this line, and they make a wonderful gift.  Last fall I made ten sets of these, but right now I only have one set left.   So if you want to buy it, you should get on over to my online store ASAP to snap it up.

Here are three of our top selling mugs right now.  “ELECTRIC CARS ARE GOOD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT BECAUSE ELECTRICITY COMES FROM MAGIC!” is really popular with engineers, eco-cynics and electric car fanciers alike.  And it’s really funny.  It’s a scientific fact: unicorn farts are funny.  “Holy Shit!  That’s good coffee!” is available in male and female motifs, and it’s still one of the designs we draw the most.  This is practically the first cartoon I ever drew on pottery and it’s still a huge hit.  Go figure.  “WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, WE HAD TO MAKE OUR OWN COFFEE AND IT TASTED LIKE CRAP.” is a new twist on a similar theme, and it’s turned out to be a great birthday gift for people with, how shall we say, a certain wisdom born from years of experience?

Did you happen to see the Broncos/Vikings game yesterday?  I listened to the fourth quarter on the radio and at the end of it, I was saying to myself, “Damn!  I should have made more of those Tebow pots!”  We sold all of the ones we got out of the kiln last week in the Evergreen Gallery, and I only have six mugs, two plates and two bowls coming out of the kiln tomorrow.  This will make an awesome present for that Tebow fan on your holiday gift list, so I suggest you snap one up if you still can!

“Jesus is coming and he’s bringing the bean dip” has been one of my best sellers for almost ten years now, but this year we produced more than any year ever!  I’m pretty sure this is because of that crazy preacher who falsely predicted the apocalypse not once, but twice this year.  Like the other items in this post, my inventory is limited so get on over to the online store if you want to purchase one this year.

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Nothing captures the spirit of the holidays like a pile of fudge.

Here’s a plate that just screams “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”  For some reason, my customers tend to love tasteless jokes, and every time I push the envelope in this department, my sales climb.  This item is, of course, in stock and ready to ship so if you want to own the perfect plate for your holiday fudge, get over to the online store and snap one up!

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You have just a five days left to place your custom orders for the holidays!!

The clock is ticking.  Can you hear it?  It’s telling everybody out there that there are just five days left for you to place your custom orders for the holiday season.  On Friday we will load up the last kiln of the year, so if you have any intentions of placing a way-cool custom order or two, you had better do it soon.  Over the past couple of years I’ve been actively encouraging my customers to submit these orders because I know how much fun it is to give someone dear something that was specially made for them.  And due to the “anything goes” nature of my artwork, we have gotten a lot of strange requests over the years.  One of my all-time favorites is a mug we did for a guy who was in charge of getting all the mold out of his lab/workplace after Hurricane Katrina:

Good ideas yield good custom orders.  Another mug that was particularly fun to do was one we did for a woman named Sharon.  I really like the affection the friend who commissioned the mug must have for her:

And last year we got an order that was a holiday gift for one of my all-time favorite musicians in the whole universe:  Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead!!  Take a look:

Do you have someone on your gift list who you would like to give something like this?  If so, get over to the “Custom Orders” section of this website and read through the tips on how to place an order.  It’s really pretty simple and it can yield some great gifts if you go for it.  Don’t forget, anything ordered by Friday, 12/02 can be shipped out on Tuesday, 12/06.

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