How do you murder your oreo cookie?

“Let’s pretend that the cookies are people and the milk is a vat of acid.”

I grew up in the 1960’s in a neighborhood chock full of half-crazed catholic kids doing all kinds of weird things all the time, so when I hear the phrase “getting in touch with your inner child”, it kind of creeps me out.  Today’s mug celebrates one’s weird inner child and the idea came to me when I pulled the blank mug off the shelf and realized it would be a good shape for dipping cookies.  Until I get another firing out, this is a one of a kind, so head on over to the online store if you want to be the only person in the world who has this unique design.

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I’m just working for the man.

For the past two months I’ve been working for the U.S. Census going door to door collecting information from residents here in Jefferson County, Colorado. It’s my first “real” job outside of making pottery since I graduated from college in 1978 and the experience has had its share of highs and lows.  I generally like the work, but that small percentage of people who want to use you as a human punching bag can really make the job suck.  I’ve got this pipe dream of writing a “2010 Census Worker Confessional” comic book to share all the stories about the people I’ve encountered. It’s a long shot that this book will come to fruition but it’s fun to think about.  I think the best thing about working for the U.S. Census is the fact that it’s made me really appreciate that I make pottery for a living.

Today’s offering in my week long mug-aganza goes out to all those people who have crappy jobs in big byzantine corporations.  The federal government is one such organization and I can relate.  “We’re just hapless souls working for an evil corporation” can be found in the funny mugs section of the online store.

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Celebrating one’s abusive muse.

Here’s a unique cup and saucer designed for the artist who has to has to force himself to get to work.  Is it semi-autobiographical? You bet! I only have one of these in stock, so head on over to the online store to to snap it up.

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In other words, decaf is a false idol.

Java is a time honored theme in my work.  It’s no secret that a coffee mug with a good joke about caffeine, the joy of guzzling your morning brew, or the horrors of decaf will have a solid fan base.  100 million Americans drink 350 million cups of coffee each day, which explains why roughly half of the pots I make are coffee mugs.  To get your hands on this new religious object, speed on over to the online store!

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Here’s more proof that I might be loosing my mind.

OK…. I think this is a really great coffee mug.  If you agree with me and you want to own it, you better get over to my online store ASAP because I only have one in stock right now.  This design just kind of came to me in a flash and I like the way it makes fun of the people who are always telling other people how to be when they in fact are that way themselves.  There is probably even more under the surface here, but let’s not get into it, OK?  I did a series of weird and wonderful “deluxe” mugs last week and I’ll be posting little write-ups on them every day this week just for fun.  So come back tomorrow and check out my latest ceramic oddity!

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My First Ultra-Marathon!

If you know me or you’ve read my bio, you’ll know that I’m a long distance running geek.  One of the things I really like about running is that it’s an honest sport in that you can’t pretend you are better at it than you are because the clock has the final word.  The past few years have seen a major slowdown in my race times, and I really don’t like getting slower.  Who does?

So this year I decided to change gears a bit and try some new things.  The past six months, I ditched the speed workouts that were beating up my hamstrings and I did a lot of barefoot running to combat my persistent injuries.  This seems to have helped a lot.  I’ve been running a lot of long slow miles… 90 in just one week last month!  I’m running relatively injury free now.   My first goal of the year was to run the Greenland 50K, a hilly trail race near Colorado Springs. The course is an approximately eight mile loop that we did four times to cover the 31 mile distance.  It was great running that way, because I could judge my pace really well by following my split times.  There was a tough 1.5 mile hill on the backside of the loop that wasn’t too bad the first three laps, but on the last one my legs felt like cement on the final climb.  I managed to have a really strong finish on the last two miles of downhill.  I passed one runner and it felt good to kick it in hard.

The weather on Saturday was near-perfect.  There was some snow and slush on the course, and the hills were a lot tougher than I’d expected, but I managed to come in within sixteen seconds of my predicted time.  I was shooting for nine minutes per mile (4 hr. 40 min.) and as you can see by the picture above, I was pretty darn close.  I took fifteenth place out of 115 runners, and I was third in the 50 – 54 age group.  These ultras seem to even the scales a bit between the age groups, so I think I’ll try doing some more of them in the future.  50K is so close to a marathon, I think I’ll have to go up to 50 miles to call myself a REAL ultra-marathon runner. We’ll see!  It was really nice to have Lori cheering me on each lap, and the spectacular spring weather made for an excellent day.  That’s Pike’s Peak in the background of the picture below.

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Going green and going up in flames.

“Fran had her skin dyed green to accentuate her love of Mother Earth and to show everyone that she was truly “going green”

I came up with this new mug design idea last week on Earth Day.  I’ve always felt that contemporary environmentalism is more about looking and feeling green than actually being green.  Because to actually be green, you can’t take cool trips to Hawaii or live in a nice big house in the mountains like we do here in Evergreen.  Yes, I suppose I am a bit of a curmudgeon and deserve to be run over by a Prius.  I should also disclose that this mug is an homage to my old friend and hero, Fred Babb.  He’s been a longtime influence on my work and this one looks like something out of his 1995 “Friends and Relatives” calendar.  Thanks for all the cosmic inspiration over the years, Fred!

And here’s one more item in a long series of pots with flammable imagery.  What’s up with that?  Why am I so compelled to make all these vessels with stuff burning on them?  No, I wasn’t down by the old tire warehouse last week when it went up in flames…. really…. that wasn’t me…. I was home firing my kiln and it’s my airtight alibi.

If you want to buy some of these hot and cool new items, just go to the online store.

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Bright red dinnerware!! Lust Cats of the Gutters are media darlings!!!

Here’s something completely different….. dinnerware that is 100% humor free! We just rolled out a kiln load with this really wonderful set of these ohata khaki glazed dishes for our own use at home.  I really love this iron saturated glaze and it makes me want to make more of these simple pots.  If anyone out there reading this is looking for a new set of dinnerware, send me an email and we can talk prices.

Last week was a good one for my daughter, Robin.  It started when her riot grrrl band, “Lust Cats of The Gutters” received an impressive write up in famed rock critic Everett True’s blog.  A few days later the Denver Post Reverb music blog featured their song, “Nothing Cool Happens on Dates” in the “steal this track” feature.  Then a few days later their debut CD (it’s really just a demo they recorded a while back in our basement) got a positive review in Denver’s “Westword” newspaper.  How cool is all this?!!!!  And to top it all off, she turned twenty-one on Friday!

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Cute babies, levitation and severed heads.

Yes, I am using this adorable baby to shamelessly sell pots.  The customer who sent me the photo gave me permission to use it under the stipulation that I “don’t turn it into one of those creepy animated baby commercials”.  No problem.  I’m barely competent at Photoshop software so I assure you this is as far as it goes.

The above plate is a great example of how a good input can lead to a lovely gift item.  All the words were written by the customer and my job was to simply put her idea on the plate.  At first it seemed like a tall order, but the dinner plate size lends itself well to ambitious designs and this one was surprisingly easy to implement once I got working on it.  The only thing I need to stress to those of you who want me to do things like this is that you need to think of the idea because my brain kind of locks up when I’m asked to “do something funny about golf”, or whatever.

I love this new mug because of the “hook” at the bottom right.  I would bet that we’re going to get customers at fine craft galleries asking the salespeople, “Do you have one of these without the bloody severed head?”

And my new Wally adventure was inspired in part by the fact that I’m training for my first ultra marathon.  On May 1st I’ll be doing a 50K (31 mile) trail race in Larkspur, CO.  The week before last I put in an epic 90 miles in seven days and this design came into my head during one of my long runs.  I love the subtext of the joke which is, “If I were to just eat, think and exercise correctly, amazing things would happen to me.”  This joke is available in mugs, plate and bowls at my online store.

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April Fool’s Day Odds ‘N Ends

Halloween is for exhibitionists and St. Patrick’s Day is for drunks, but my favorite second string holiday is April Fool’s Day because it celebrates my profession: humor.  I love the fact that nobody even knows the origin of this holiday which was first recorded in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales in 1392.  In honor of this day, I have painstakingly added a bunch of weird odds and ends items to my online store.  The above piece was a collaboration with my former assistant John Lacey, and it was exhibited in the 2002 Colorado Men in Clay show. The thumbnails below are just some of the pots that are available on this hallowed idiot’s holiday.  It is important to note that if you don’t see them in the online store, it means that they were snapped up by an earlier shopper.  Better luck next year!

One of my favorite April Fool’s Day memories is that of a prank that Lori and I pulled on our daughter Monica when she was in the first grade.  We have a family tradition of pulling practical jokes on our kids on April Fool’s Day, and they generally (but not always) have gone well.  This one could have gone bad, but Monica’s keen sense of mischief saved the day.  The joke was simple: we put a note in her lunch that said:  “This coupon is good for one FREE PUPPY!  Simply take it to the principal’s office and give it to him and he will give you a puppy!”  Yes, it’s a knockoff of that great joke about the “free horsie” coupon in Shel Silverstein’s, Uncle Shelby’s ABZs. Monica handled this prank wonderfully well.  First she showed it to her teacher who laughed a lot and told her to go to the principal’s office.  The principal was, of course dumbfounded and couldn’t produce a puppy.  Monica’s memory of this event is that she wasn’t traumatized, and I think she “got” the joke.  The fact that she loves pulling pranks nowadays is a testament to the fact that this wasn’t a case of child abuse.  Either way, the statute of limitations is long gone because Monica is now in a freshman in college and doing quite well. I wonder how her roommates are doing today?

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